


Death Can't Have You, I Love You Part 1

by rylee_kai



Series: Voltron AUgust [4]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Altean Marks that actually do stuff, Angst, Canon Compliant, Lance died in canon and no one cared?, Langst, M/M, Nightmares, Part 1, Post canon, Suicidal Thoughts, Three Years Post Canon, lance is depressed, soft at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-07-31 14:02:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20116267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rylee_kai/pseuds/rylee_kai
Summary: Keith is having nightmares about a certain blue paladin, nightmares that never happened, but get his heart racing. Little does Keith know he's having these nightmares for a reason, fortunately with the help of his best buddy Kosmo he lands in Lance's lap after a certain nightmare.Keith finds out why he's having these nightmares, and it's not pretty, thankfully, an old friend is there to help both boys out.Please be warned there is depressive and suicidal thoughts shown in the work.Day 4 AUgust - AngstPart 1/2





	Death Can't Have You, I Love You Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Trying out a month prompt challenge! AUgust. 
> 
> Day 1 - Post Canon  
Day 2 - Crossover  
Day 3 - GenderSwap  
Day 4 - Angst  
Day 5 - Fluff  
Day 6 - Youtubers/Vloggers  
Day 7 - Reality Swap   
Day 8 - Pre-Canon  
Day 9 - Superhero  
Day 10 - Hanahaki  
Day 11 - College  
Day 12 - Celebrity  
Day 13 - Siblings  
Day 14 - Apocalypse  
Day 15 - Time Travel  
Day 16 - Soul Mates  
Day 17 - Band  
Day 18 - Hidden Identities   
Day 19 - Enemies  
Day 20 - Child Potion  
Day 21 - Fire  
Day 22 - Assassins  
Day 23 - Major Character Death  
Day 24 - Rape/Non Con  
Day 25 - Thieves  
Day 26 - Forster Family  
Day 27 - Blind/Deaf  
Day 28 - Imaginary Friends  
Day 29 - Aged Up  
Day 30 - Group Chat  
Day 31 - if y'all have any requests I will take
> 
> Not all of them will have relationships, but it will probably be more Lance centric, because he's my favorite, sorry not sorry. Ratings will vary, I might even make it a little spicy, who knows. All the works will range 2000-3000 words to keep me in check.

**Day 4 AUgust - Angst - Klance**

No Keith was not alright, he’d barely been sleeping at night, he wasn’t sure why though, it’s been years, correction it’s been three years. Honestly these nightmares didn’t make any rational sense. The worst part? They weren’t even about him. 

_ They were in the Balmeran caves, Keith had his back to the boy who just called his name. They were completely surrounded. Galra everywhere. Everywhere.  _

_ No one had moved, the Galra waiting for the two of them to crack. There really was no fight.  _

_ “Keith, buddy,” Lance said again, his voice gave away no indication of fear. _

_ “Yeah?” Keith said back, trying to keep the same composure.  _

_ “I know we are rivals and all, but I just want to say I really do you think you are a great pilot and fighter.” _

_ Keith just scoffed at him, they didn’t have time for this, “Get your head in the game Lance.”  _

_ Keith took the first leap, Lance going into action shortly after him. They put up a damn good fight. Keith’s blade going through multiple bodies, the reassuring sound of Lance’s blaster going off.  _

_ Keith watched as the Galra seemed to retreat, that’s weird, they had the advantage over them? Then the ground began to shake. The Balmera. They needed to get out of here.  _

_ Keith was half turned around when a shot flew just past his face, “Lance!” But when he heard a grunt he looked over he noticed a Galra on the ground inches from Keith. Lance and his close saves.  _

_ Keith turned to Lance with a smile ready to thank him and compliment the shot, only to see a Galra standing right behind Lance, a huge sword piercing Lance’s gut. Keith made a mad dash and cut the Galra ruthlessly before dropping to his knees next to Lance. He was stunned, what was he supposed to do?  _

_ “Lance,” Keith said, it was all he could say before rock formed in his throat, but Lance just reached up and brushed some of Keith’s hair out of his face.  _

_ “I am glad we were a team,” Lance croaked, tears were coming down Keith’s face as he held Lance in his arms just like he had only days ago.  _

_ “Don’t go, you are my team Lance.”  _

He woke in a cold sweat,  _ again _ dammit. The attack on Balmera happened years ago, and Keith was safe on his ship with my team while he knew Lance was safe on Earth with his family. 

Kosmo nudged his arm, concerned about Keith’s sudden quick breathing, he just pet his companion, whispering sweet nothings. 

“Did it maybe occur to you that you should reach out to Lance?” Shiro said rolling his eyes. 

“Why Shiro? Lance is out of all harms way back on Earth living happily, why would I bother him with this stupid stuff?” Keith responded crossing his arms. 

“I don’t maybe because this is the tenth nightmare in the last phoeb you’ve had a nightmare about Lance dying,” Pidge said pulling up a list over the video chat, each one dated with a vague description of how Lance died.

“Yeah but Lance is fine, I don’t want to tell him I have been having dreams about him dying,” Keith said huffing air out. 

“Well maybe your head is trying to tell you something,” Hunk said thoughtfully. 

“Yeah trying to tell you to stop pining like a dumb idiot and go see Lance,” Pidge said with a bite. 

“He does miss you,” Hunk offered with a small shrug and smile. “When I last visited him he asked how the Blade work was going.” 

“He also mentioned that every time he tries to call you, you blow him off,” Shiro said, looking with disapproving eyes. 

“I am a busy man, directing the Blades is hard work,” Keith stuttered to cover himself. 

“Yeah which is why you call us almost every other day,” Pidge rolled her eyes. 

“Hard work my ass, we all know that we do all the work,” Keith spun around to see his Acxa, Zethird, and Ezor standing behind him, all with their arms crossed. 

“Seriously you talk about Lance all the time you should just go visit him,” Acxa said giving a playful, yet firm shove to Keith. 

“Yeah if not I might have to go visit him, I miss little blue eyes,” Ezor said beaming.

“I’ll go too, make sure he’s doing well,” Zethird said, a smile creeping onto her face too. Keith couldn’t blame her, who didn’t love Lance? It was impossible not to really. 

“Yeah maybe, if I can clear my schedule enough,” Keith said trying to dodge any more pointed questions at him. 

_ He was on the Castle of Lions, his hand gliding along the wall, he’d been away for too long. Sure he loved the Blades, but the Castle of Lions, the people here, they were home.  _

_ He heard a small sniffle, Keith rounds the corner to the observation gallery, half draped over the console is Lance, he’s crying, and speaking softly.  _

_ “Mama, something terrifying happened, I wish you could hold me in your arms. You always told me everything would be okay, but I don’t think anything is going to be okay. I am trapped in space. My friends, my friends, well they are busy and I don’t want to bother them. I feel so alone. When can I come home and be with you? Maybe never, I died the other day. No one really noticed, but it’s okay, I mean I am alive right now right? That’s enough,” Lance face-palmed his hand.  _

_ “Where am I going with this? I just wanted to say I love you, I am so worried I will never see you again, I will try not to die anymore,” he said with a strangled laugh before pulling away from the console, he slumped to the ground, and sobbed into his hands.  _

_ Keith’s feed lurched forward before he could think to stop, soon he was holding Lance in his arms. Lance looked at him with confusion.  _

_ “Keith?”  _

_ “Lance.”  _

“Keith?” 

“Lance?”

Keith bolted out of bed again, he was sure, he was sure he just heard Lance’s voice, and not just in the dream, it sounded like it was in his ear, as if Lance was in bed with him. 

Kosmo jumped on the bed, tail wagging before starting to glow, oh shit. Keith braced himself, wondering where Kosmo was going to land him this time. 

When he opened his eyes, he was stunned by blue eyes looking back at him, “Keith?” 

“Lance?”

“What are you doing in my bed?” Lance asked, and Keith’s jaw dropped as he looked around, sure enough he was on Earth. In the McClain house. In Lance’s room.  _ In Lance’s bed.  _

He scrambled to get his bearings flopping onto the ground, “Kosmo, you piece of shit where are you?” 

Keith looked around, but his little shit was nowhere to be found. 

“Keith, relax, it’s not that big of a deal, I was already awake,” Lance said rubbing his forehead. Keith couldn’t help but notice the bags under Lance’s eyes. 

“Lance are you okay? You don’t look so good?” Keith said making a beeline back for the bed examining Lance more closely. 

“Oh yeah? Coming from mister chanel bags under my eyes,” Lance said with a laugh, lifting his hands to brush under Keith’s eyes. 

“Haven’t been sleeping well,” Keith admitted with a shrug. 

“Me neither,” Lance shrugged back removing his hands from Keith’s face, he immediately missed the warm and soft fingers. 

They stayed in silence for a moment, before Lance started fidgeting his fingers, “Hey weird question, I was just having this dream and all, it was a memory or so I thought, but then you were there, and you were- well, you were there, and you weren’t in the memory…”

He trailed off, Keith’s mind blanked. Did he and Lance share that dream just now? He refocused his thoughts as Lance’s Altean marks began to glow. 

“ _ Keith?” _

_ “Lance.”  _

_ “What are you doing here?” Lance asked, his hand coming up to run through Keith’s hair, as if making sure he were really there.  _

_ “I decided I needed to visit home,” Keith said, a small smile on his lips as he looked to Lance, who he was holding tightly in his arms.  _

_ “Oh.”  _

_ “Lance, you died?” Keith asked, confused, when did Lance die? Why didn’t anyone tell him?  _

_ “It’s nothing,” blue eyes fluttered shut and turned into Keith’s chest.  _

_ “It’s not nothing, what happened? Let me notice,” Keith said rubbing circles into Lance’s back.  _

They both gasped for air simultaneously as their eyes came to one another.  _ _

“You-how, my dream, what kind of strange Altean magic shit is this?” Lance said stumbling father into his bed, but Keith was focused on something else. 

“YOU DIED?” Keith yelled, yes, he had heard Lance say in the earlier dream that he died, but like he had been having dreams all week of events that didn’t really happen. 

Lance looked up to meet violet eyes and gave a small nod. 

“When? Where? What happened? Why didn’t anyone tell me?” Keith started spouting, but Lance’s rested his hand on Keith’s knee. 

“Keith it’s fine, it happened years ago, and I am alive, that’s all that matters right? That’s enough,” Lance said with a smile, but Keith knew it was fake, so he lunged forward and pulled the tan boy into his arms.

“It’s not fine, you died, and you are alive, and that is so important, but that’s not enough,” Keith said, he was so overwhelmed, Lance had died, and no one even bothered to tell him? 

“Keith it’s fine really,” Lance said trying to gently pull away from the hug.

“If it’s all fine why were you dreaming about it?” Keith snapped, startling Lance. 

“Um, you know I don’t know, I have been having a lot of weird dreams lately. Funny you have been in all of them,” Lance said bring a hand to the back of his neck to scratch nervously. 

Keith’s mouth opened and closed a few times, trying to find the right words, but eventually, impulsive Keith came out, “Lance did you die in those dreams?” 

Lance laughed nervously before looking away. 

“Lance I have seen all your dreams, I have been in all your dreams. Yesterday, we were on Balmera,” Keith blurted out again, reaching for Lance’s hands, but he pulled them to his chest. 

“I am sorry Keith,” he whispered, so light in the air. 

“Why are you sorry?” Keith said, confused, why was Lance saying sorry, he was the one having nightmares of him dying. If Keith thought he was having nightmares, it was nothing compared to Lance’s. 

“You have been in all of them, you cry at the end of every one, I am sorry for putting you through this. Stupid Altean magic,” Lance said slapping his face, his blue marks glowing again. 

_ “Keith,” Keith whipped around and came face to face with- _

_ “Allura?”  _

_ “Keith it’s good to see you,” she said opening her arms for a hug. Keith obliged, he wasn’t much of a hugger, but he could make an exception for a princess who sacrificed herself to save the universe.  _

_ “Allura where are we?” Keith asked, he blinked as he looked around, fields of juniberries, an ocean, and space sky.  _

_ “Hmm, I believe this is Lance’s astral plane,” she mused before beginning to walk, Keith followed her unsure what else to do.  _

_ “Why are we in Lance’s astral plane?”  _

_ “You know watching you two back on Voltron I never really understood how much the two of you cared about each other. Always bickering and fighting, but really it was just how you showed your love. It was fun after the first year, watching you two interact, but I am going to be honest I have been growing tired of both of you refusing to act on your feelings.”  _

_ Keith looked at her confused, guess she really had been watching over them.  _

_ “I knew it wasn’t my right to intervene, so I didn’t, at least not until I noticed this,” Allura said coming to a stop in front the Red Lion.  _

_ “Red?”  _

_ “Come,” Allura held out her hand, and Keith took it, and with a flash they were standing inside the Red Lion. Lance was there, Keith about to call out to him, but Allura stopped him.  _

_ Lance was sitting in the chair, “Well if anyone taught me how to be reckless it’s your former paladin.”  _

_ Lance’s hands pushed forward on the controls and they were diving in front of the Blue Lion, a force of energy colliding with the Red Lion, powering the entire lion off, and Lance sitting motionlessly in the chair.  _

_ “Perhaps it would have been easier had I had just stayed dead. Maybe Allura would still be here, maybe Keith wouldn’t have run from his family, but to it, maybe everyone would have been happier.”  _

_ Keith looked around frantically, unsure where the voice was coming from, but recognizing the voice all too well, tears came down his face.  _

_ “Why do I feel so alone now? So empty? Is it because part of me never came back that day?”  _

_ “Lance, please, please stop,” Keith called out, but there was no response, nothing.  _

_ Allura took his hand again and they were on the beach.  _

_ “Altean Alchemy is rooted in emotion. My father used his love to protect the kingdom. I used my revenge blindly to help Lotor. I used my love to bring Lance back. And right now Lance is using his darkness, to force himself into suffering. _

_ “I grew concerned, so I bridged the dreams, I am sorry for giving you nightmares, but Lance needs help, he needs to remember love. You know I always thought Lance and I were special because we shared a similar quintessence I didn’t realize it until Blue offered to me to pilot her. But when I think about it, the quintessence of you and Lance is much more alike, go remind him of it” she finished pointing to a boy floating on the water.  _

_ Keith without even thinking ran towards him, his feet creating huge splashes until it became too deep and he started swimming, he grabbed Lance and pulled him to the shore.  _

_ “Keith?”  _

_ “Lance.” _

When Keith opened his eyes he threw himself at Lance, “I’ve been lying to myself for years. Ever since the day I met you, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you. I couldn’t get my heart to calm down when you were around. I love you.” 

The boy in his arms stopped moving entirely. 

“I love you so much, and I didn’t say anything about it earlier, I just- was never sure if my love would be enough for you,” Keith carried on the lack of response from the boy killing him. 

“Please tell me that’s a joke,” Lance said shoving Keith away from him. Keith dropped his eyes to the ground, but Lance’s hand reached out and tilted the chin back up. “Of course, your love would be enough, how dare you say such things about yourself.” 

“Really, you want to have a discussion about self-love right now,” Keith said looking obviously up and down Lance’s body. He turned away, but this time it was my turn to take his chin. 

“Um, Allura showed me, it’s probably like a huge invasion of privacy what I saw, but I want you to know that all those dreams, how I reacted, that’s because I love you, and if you died everything would not be okay,” Keith said looking into sad blue eyes. “Let me help you, let’s get out of this darkness together, okay?” 

Lance pulled Keith back into a hug, and they stayed like that for a while, Keith pulled him down, they needed to rest. 

“I was so scared, these feelings, they terrify me, but they also feel so right? I don’t know, I know I need help. And I know you just told me I love you, but I can’t say it back yet, I want to, but that’s not fair, When I really ready, I will say it to you,” he whispered into Keith’s chest. 

Keith nodded, “Right now, you are your first priority.” 

**Author's Note:**

> If you like please leave kudos and comments, if you like it a lot and want me to keep writing let me know in the comments. 
> 
> I cried a little writing this, there is a much happier part 2 coming tomorrow <3


End file.
